By Uncle Abdul

Ahh, you young whippersnapping BDSM'rs today have it so easy. When I was your age, I had to trudge miles through six feet of snow ... uphill ...both ways to get to a Janus program meeting. We had them in the same location, but we'd have to kick the swabbies and GI's out of their barracks so we'd have room enough for the demos. I tell you it ain't easy to tell a Chief Petty Officer that we're really doing a life jacket drill when yer tie'n a rope harness on some floosie named Gert.

And all the parties you youngsters have today! Why in my day if we had one party a year, we'd think that we'd a' died and gone to heaven. Yes sir-ee, we had so few people in the community in those days that the telephone booth we rented for the party still had enough room to swing a cat. And it was a real cat--an angry one at that! Swinging it by the tail, that cat had one mean bite all right. It was literally tooth and claw man! There was no 'rosy glow' on your butt after one of these man. There were scratches. There were teeth marks. And that was on the whipper's arm fer chri' sakes.

And when we did start getting handcrafted floggers, it weren't those fancy schmancy thingies you youngsters have today made of elk hide and the like. Hell, we used the whole elk. A 'thuddy' feel meant something completely different in my day.

You youngsters are so soft these days. Hell, I seen the other day some dom pulling a flogger out of her case, and some weak-kneed subbie clear the other side of the room was call'n his code word already.

Why in my day we had to be tough. Hell, when we fisted a guy, we'd use a rubber glove that went clean up to the shoulder. Remember the movie "Deep Throat"? We reached the same damn thing, except we came in from the other end.

Even the gals was tough in those days. Why there was this one gal who was naked as a jaybird and bent over with her nipples pinned to a board with needles. Her partner was wailing away on her ass with a cane. No, dammit, it weren't one of them things you guys import from Egypt these days. It was the kind you git from hospitals. Now pay attention! So this new guy sees her and is so much distress that he comes up to her to ask her if she was okay. Hell, she decked him then and there. She hated him intruding on her fun.

Hell, you youngsters got all them fancy TENS units and Violet Wands fer yer electrical play. In my day we'd have our subbies pee on an electric fence or a third rail on a subway. The action lasted as long as the pee stream did.

And we didn't have Violet Wands in my day neither. What we had to do was to go to old man Tesla's place and borrow one of his lightning generators. A six foot long lightning bolt on somebody's ass was good enough for a nice jolt. If aimed right, it could also cure yer hemorrhoids too.

I'm telling you, you youngsters have it too easy today. Now stop yer laughing, dammit, or I'll wheel my chair over to ya and gum ya to death...

Chao-4-Now

Unc'